Reddit Problem Gambling

By Leigh for Earshot

Updated September 04, 2017 16:45:46

I'm a gambling addict. Three years ago, I was convicted of white collar fraud, after I stole over $130,000 from my employer to fuel an insatiable addiction.

My poison of choice was not poker machines, but online gambling.

Annalisa Barbieri advises a reader on how to help her 25-year-old son, who has a gambling problem. Annalisa Barbieri. Fri 8 Mar 2013 08.00 EST. Throughout the week, I like to check-in on the Reddit Problem Gambling thread and the accompanying live chat on the Discord Server. This is a great way to connect with others who understand me in a way friends and family might not be able to. Problem gambling is a mental health disorder, in which the individual can’t control the urge to gamble. Like any addiction, problem gambling can cause major disruptions in personal, professional, and family life. It can also precipitate serious financial difficulties.

Racing, the thoroughbreds, the trots, the dogs — I wasn't fussy, so long as I could get a bet on and fuel that addiction.

The bets would range anywhere between $5,000 and $20,000 a day. I would bet until 3:00am, try to sleep for three hours and bet again for another three hours on online racing in the United States.

Reddit problem gambling definition

I always thought the stereotypical gambling addict was a working-class middle-aged man or woman, sitting at their local club, feeding their favourite pokies machine four or five nights a week.

But I rarely ventured into the local TAB.

Betting while the kids were in the bath

At the zenith of my addiction, I was married with two beautiful young children and working as a finance manager at a local council.

When I was with my family, I was physically there — but mentally, I was miles away, thinking about gambling: when I could next bet, where would the money come from, whether I could back a winner.

I thought about gambling 24/7. I placed bets at home, at work, the shops — basically everywhere and anywhere I could get reception on my phone.

I would be walking with the kids and our dog, yet I'd still be trying to place bets. I would even bet and watch the races on the phone while the kids were in the bath.

A knock at the door

I had been thinking about stealing to solve some of my debt problems for months, but I couldn't do it because I knew the consequences would be dire.

Then one evening, I had a visit from two large men with a baseball bat, strongly suggesting it would be in my best interests to repay a sizable debt that was due that week.

They punched me and threatened to use the baseball bat 'next time'.

I was left bruised and battered from their warning. It was a seriously scary moment; I still occasionally have flashbacks and it sends chills through my body.

That night, I made the decision to steal from work. I felt physically sick and fidgety; my mind wouldn't stop racing. I knew it was wrong, but I did it — knowing I could one day get caught.

The first time is without a doubt the hardest — but once you've done it, stealing becomes easier.

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Earshot meets Leigh, an online gambling addict.Reddit problem gambling sites

I had nothing to lose. That's how I 'reasoned' it.

However, stealing became another problem to add to my list.

I was constantly worried about being caught. When someone knocked on my office door, when I got a phone call, when my boss called me to a meeting, I was never quite sure.

The fear was slowly killing me, but I couldn't confess, couldn't turn back. I was on a knife-edge with no solution, no way out.

It was a Monday morning when I was finally caught. I was called into the CEO's office and they presented me with the overwhelming evidence.

I was caught red-handed, but I still denied it. I knew my career was over and that jail was not far away.

But at that stage, I had a small sense of relief. No more looking over my back. The lying and deceitfulness could stop.

Gambling Problem Reddit Csgo

On the inside

When I was caught and sentenced to jail, the gambling addicts I met in the prison system had similar stories to mine. They were middle-aged, smart, well-educated men from good upbringings, all addicts to racing and not the pokies — certainly not the stereotypical gambling addicts I had imagined.

My addiction cost me everything. I lost my job, all my material possessions including house, car, everything I owned.

But that pales into insignificance to the lost relationships.

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My marriage disintegrated, I lost access to my children, I don't talk to my family and I'm no longer on speaking terms with most of my friends. I don't blame them.

During my year in jail, I had enough time to reflect on all the damage it had caused and when I was to be released I knew I couldn't go back to that lifestyle.

You get far too much time to reflect in jail. I was constantly thinking about the kids, but I didn't decide to quit gambling because of them. The constant stress and 24/7 of thinking about gambling had destroyed me: physically, emotionally, and financially.

I knew if I didn't stop gambling it would kill me.

Gambling Horror Stories Reddit

Get help before it's too late

I write this not because I find it a cathartic experience, but because I hope that it helps others to seek help before it's too late. Or for family and friends of addicts to intervene and offer support.

For people 'on the edge' or thinking about committing fraud, the solution is simple: get help.

Seek support before you hit rock bottom. The help that suited me the most was from my psychologist, one-on-one extended chats — but for others it may be Gamblers Anonymous.

For the family and friends of addicts: please don't give up on them, it's a horrendous disease and they need all the support you can give.

Life in 2017 is certainly not perfect, but it's a damn sight better than it has been.

I've got regular access to my children, I'm rebuilding lost relationships, I've found some temporary work — and I haven't had a bet since 2014.

Topics:gambling, internet-culture, family-and-children, fraud-and-corporate-crime, law-crime-and-justice, australia

First posted September 04, 2017 12:14:41

Reddit Problem Gambling

The word addiction comes from a Latin term meaning “bound to” or “enslaved by.” And anyone who has suffered/suffers from an addiction—or has tried to help someone with an addiction—can attest to the powerful, prolonged grip it exerts; the personal, professional and other damage it causes; and the challenges to quitting.

This is especially true of online gambling, which is diagnosed according to the same criteria as “traditional” in-person gambling. Features such as 24/7 availability, however that make it potentially more addictive and harder to recover from than gambling at a casino or other physical location. The internet also has made gambling accessible to minors who typically would be identified as under age at a physical betting establishment. Consequently, it has spawned a new generation of problem gamblers: teens and young adults, particularly young men.

Definition and Risks of Gambling Addiction

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the American Psychiatric Association’s classification for psychiatric disorders, a person can be diagnosed as having a gambling addiction (the clinical term is “pathological gambling”) when at least 4 of the following are present:

  1. Preoccupation with gambling (such as reliving past gambling experiences, planning one’s next gambling session, or devising ways of getting the necessary money to gamble)
  2. A need to spend greater amounts of money in order to achieve the desired level of excitement
  3. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to reduce or stop gambling
  4. Irritability and restlessness when trying to reduce or quit gambling habits
  5. Gambling as a way of avoiding problems or temporarily improving one’s mood
  6. Returning to gambling after losses as a way of earning back lost money (referred to as “chasing losses”)
  7. Lying to family members, friends, employers and others in an attempt to cover up time spent or money lost while gambling
  8. Significant relationship, job and/or academic difficulties
  9. Relying on others for money in order to get out of a desperate financial situation caused by gambling

Like people suffering from alcohol or drug addiction, compulsive gamblers are at high risk for serious social, work-related, financial, emotional and even legal and physical problems. Compulsive gambling has been linked to a range of mental health issues (depression, anxiety/panic disorder and personality disorders, for example); poor general health; drug, alcohol, and nicotine dependence; and in extreme cases, suicide.

Gamblers aren’t the only ones hurt by their behavior. Family members often suffer problems such as stress-related physical and mental illness (e.g., headaches, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression), loss of trust, domestic violence, severe financial hardship, and breakdown of the family structure. Children with parents who have gambling problems are up to 10 times more likely to develop gambling problems themselves than children whose parents aren’t gamblers.

How Online Gambling Aggravates Addiction

There are characteristics of internet gambling that make it potentially more dangerous than betting at a physical location:

  • Online gambling sites are accessible 24/7 from anywhere there’s an internet connection. It takes more effort to get to a casino and other “brick and mortar” venues, and some of them don’t operate around the clock.
  • If a problem gambler spends several days in a row at a casino or racetrack, his/her absence is likely to be noticed. Online gamblers can play via computer or mobile device at work, home, or anywhere there’s an internet connection at any time of day without being missed or revealing what they’re doing.
  • Online gambling at home provides greater convenience, anonymity and comfort than playing in a casino. In private, it’s easy for players to place bets after heavy consumption of drugs or alcohol, which can increase the amount of time spent gambling and money wagered.
    It’s easy for people to access their bank account online, whereas at a physical location, it takes more effort such as withdrawing money from a bank machine. This increases the likelihood of impulse betting and “chasing losses.”
  • On the internet it’s easy to forget that electronic money is still real money. Gamblers may be able to use a credit card to deposit funds they can’t necessarily pay back into an online account that they can access as other resources dry up.
  • A lot of internet gambling websites are registered in locations where online gambling is legal, but not necessarily well regulated. It can be hard to know who is running them or whether they are legitimate. This makes it hard to take action against them when problems arise.
  • It’s easier for traditional betting locations to ban underage or problem gamblers. Online gambling sites may have policies on restricting access, but their ability to enforce them is unclear. Thus, the only real limit is an individual’s self-control. For people who are prone to addictive behavior, obsession easily overrides willpower.
  • An important part of gambling addiction treatment is having a strategy to avoid play. With online gambling, avoiding this temptation is significantly more difficult.

Tell-Tale Signs of Gambling Addiction

So how can you tell whether you or someone you care about has an online gambling problem? Common signs include:

  • Time spent online gambling is out of proportion with other activities.
  • Schedules are rearranged to permit more time for online gambling activities.
    Size and/or frequency of bets increases. This is often a sign of chasing losing bets and trying to catch up. Unlike addicts, social gamblers can accept their losses and walk away.
  • Boasting about winning and minimizing losses. Flaunting large amounts of money.
  • Going online to gamble when faced with a crisis or a stressful situation.
  • Experiencing mood swings—extreme highs when winning and extreme lows when losing.
  • Hiding money, unusual and/or unexplained withdrawals from family bank accounts, secret loans and questionable financial deals. When a compulsive online gambler is caught in one of these behaviors, he/she will lie and minimize its importance.

Treatment Options

Addiction is a chronic disease that with time, patience and willpower can be successfully managed. Because denial keeps an addiction going, the first crucial step in recovery is admitting there’s a problem and being receptive to help.

People become compulsive gamblers for a variety of reasons, so each individual requires a specifically tailored recovery program that addresses his/her motives. Appropriate treatment for online gambling addiction is still being researched, but a combination of treatments for traditional gambling addiction and for internet addiction seems to work best. This can include individual and/ or family counseling and participation in a support group such as Gamblers Anonymous. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help compulsive gamblers/internet users understand the thoughts and feelings behind their behavior and develop strategies to avoid and overcome them. In extreme cases, inpatient treatment may be necessary initially as a sort of “detox.”

Family, friends, and coworkers adversely affected by the gambler’s behavior can also benefit from treatment—regardless of whether the gambler is in treatment. Those who think they have a gambling problem can call 1-800-GAMBLER to speak confidentially with someone 24/7. Gamblers or family members can visit 800gambler.org for more education and information. This may also include participation in a support group like Gam-Anon; family and individual counseling; education on problem gambling including recovery and relapse triggers; and strategies for coping with anger and loss of trust, keeping healthy boundaries, and ensuring financial protection.

Recovery and Relapse

Gambling Prevention Materials

Relapse is a common struggle for anyone in recovery, but the problem for online gamblers is compounded by the pervasive need for and use of computers, mobile devices and the internet in today’s world. Even so, as a recovering online gambler addresses the thoughts and feelings behind the compulsion and builds healthier choices and a good support network, resisting urges becomes much easier.

Reddit Problem Gambling Games

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Reddit Problem Gambling Websites

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